Kiss It Better
by Gina245368
Summary: This story was originally a roleplay, but I was able to type it up, and convert it into something small. The song that originally goes with this is Kiss It Better by He Is We. Enjoy c:


A short popping sound filled the air, then silence. The color slowly leaves from Clary's face and she barely manages to choke out his name in a short gasp. "Jace." Her knees buckled underneath her, her hands moving on top of the wounded spot. Jace, of course, caught her and she whimpered. "O-Ow." Her eyes were slowly becoming glassy, the emerald green turning shades darker, making her face look extremely pale and her fiery hair burn brighter.

When Jace had caught her, his hands turned warm from the blood, a dark scarlet. He watches someone run away from them and for a split second he considers going after them, but then he hears her choke out his name. His eyes roam over her and he bites his lips. "Clary?"

She kept her hands over her wound, and she whimpered, "K-Kiss it better.." She looked up at him and there were tears streaming down her face. The whiteness of her eyes were now cracked with redness and the green stood out for another moment or so before it slowly started losing their color. Jace pressed his lips against her's, drawing her as close as her could without hurting her. The taste of salt is potent in their kiss as the tears drip off of his long lashes and down his cheeks.

When they broke apart, Clary looked up at him and frowned. Shaking her head she murmured, "Don't cry love. It's not your fault. You didn't know."

Strands of her hair had fallen into her eyes and he reached down, gently pulling them behind her ear, her blood still on his fingertips. Slightly shaking, he tries to keep his hold on her as the warmth slowly recedes from her. "You can't go."

Her face was paler before, and honestly, it shouldn't have been possible. She chokes out. "I...I don't wanna go." Taking a deep breath, she tries to force herself to stay. She tries to stay for him, because that's what had been keeping her going all of these years. It was him, and their future together, along with Mary. Mary, who was only four years old, with bright green eyes like her mother, and long bouncy curls like her father. She slowly saw it being washed away from her as her eyes grew a light, sickening green. She managed to whisper a small, "I love you," before her eyes had fluttered shut, her breathing stop, and her body going limp. The last of her warmth fading away.

Even as the life left her, he clutched onto her. A mangled sob escapes him and the tears flow, hot and heavy. Sliding both of his arms underneath her, he lifts her up, and carries her back home-to the Institute. Laying her out before the Lightwoods and Simon, he took the rest of his guard off, revealing the shatter boy within. He yells at them in rage then collapses in Isabelle's arms in a way he's never done before, grieving for Clary.

* * *

When night falls on the Institute, he leaves in silence. Winding through the empty streets with a menacing purpose in his step. By midnight, he stands at a quaint doorway of a simple household. His movements cold and calculated as he beats on the wooden door with his fist, more tears threatening to pour over his golden lashes. When a man with scars decorating his arms and face answers the door, Jace strikes him. The man glares at him, his eyes narrowing in on Jace. His lip curls and he growls, "Recognize me?" He carried the appearance of an avenging angel, and the moonlight behind him made him look like weary. What he didn't know though, was that she was standing behind him. A few yards at the most. It wasn't herself though..More like her spirit. But right now, she knew, it would be enough. The man didn't have enough time to answer before Jace starting striking him until he started coughing up blood. Clary watched silently, horror filling her eyes before she whispers, "Jace...Stop."

Hearing her, he went still, and looked over his shoulder at her. The light slowly drained from his eyes and he was left speechless. Clary watched the man fall behind him before she looked back up. She was partly in shocked. The fact that he could hear her...But, that didn't matter right now. Her feet would always know right where to go when she saw him and that was by his side. No later than a second she was standing in front of him. "Jace what did you do." It wasn't a question, just a sentence that was left floating in the air without a purpose. Kinda like her. However, she was there for a purpose. She had to see him, if this was going to be the last time. If she couldn't look down on him from the heavens. She never believe in it. Now until now at least. She had hope now. Hope that there was something in the after life for her. Hoping that i was her own personal mini version of heaven even if it wasn't real. "Jace.." She whispered, and reached up to stroke his cheek, but like she already knew it would, her had merrily went through the surface of his skin and she sighed, looking away.

Jace frowns and glances down at the man's lifeless form. "I-I'm sorry, Clary," he manages through another sob. He tries to wipe away the blood-both fresh and dry- and he's mesmerized by her presence. "Clary?" He murmurs, his voice soft as a gentle wind. Lifting his fingers to reach out for her, he suddenly remembers that they can't touch, and he pauses.

Her lips curve into a small smile and her eyes softened. "In the flesh." Her frown returned though, seconds later. "I'm sorry I left. You know I didn't want to, right? I would never want to leave your side."

"I know but, but you're-" His voice cut off, unable to say the last word. _Dead_. Somewhere deep inside he knew, he knew it was true, but the rest of him didn't want to believe it, refused to believe it. She couldn't be gone from him, she couldn't. It's not possible. His lips twisted into a deep frown. "I just wish I could hold you again," he admits, his voice low and rough.

"As do I, love." She tried stroking his cheek, but again with no success. "You have to be my brave soldier.." Shaking her head she corrects herself, "You have to be _Mary's_ brave soldier now. You have to be strong, okay? No matter what, be strong and brave for her. She's going to need you Jace..Just like I need you."

He bites the insides of his cheeks, fighting back his tears. "How can I be strong..when the only thing keeping me going is gone?" His hands curl into firsts and his voice shakes, but rises," How am I suppose to carry on without you?! I can't, Clary. I just _can't._ I.." He collapses onto his knees, and buries his head into his hands.

Clary kneels down besides him, her face showing agonizing pain, just by watching him. She couldn't stand to see him like this. A bright, gold light flared to life in her eyes and she whispered, "No, no! It's not time..I can't go.._Not yet_. I'm not ready." She went back onto her hands, slowly crawling backwards, until she was against a wall and was sitting against it. The light slowly started to fade and she slowly made her way back to Jace, longing to wrap her arms around him and to be able to tell him that everything was going to be okay for the both of them. To be able to tell him that she would never leave him, but she already had. She left him when that gun shot went off. When the bullet entered her body and struck like an uncurable poison. "Jace..." She managed to say. Shaking her head, she took a shaky breath that she didn't even need anymore."Jace you'll be okay. You'll be the brave, tough, person I first met at that club. You're going to be just fine."

"No, no I'm not. We both know it. Don't try to reassure me," he glances up at her, but the sight of her feels like a slap in the face, a reminder she'll slip through his fingers for the second time that day. "I'll never be okay again, I'll never be strong, never be whole. Never Clary, never. But that doesn't matter." He touches the mark of his angel on his skin and closes his eyes. Mouthing a silent prayer, he pours his soul into the words he silently speaks. When his eyes flutter open he sees her clearly for the first time, the blood that till stains her skin, the dark, opaqueness to her eyes. Shaking his head, he reaches out for her, his arm actually gripping her wrist tightly.

When he touched her, her eyes widened. "J-Jace...What did you _do_?"

He guides her into his arms and holds her tightly. "Ithuriel," he murmurs as if that explains everything.

Burying her face into his chest, tears fall over her copper lashes and she hugs him tightly. She murmured into his chest, through her broken sobs, "Don't let me go. Please don't ever let me go."

"Heaven itself will have to pry you from me," he whispers fiercely, cupping her chin in his hands so she can see the longing, the desperation and spark of hope in his golden eyes. "Stay with me?"

"Always."

He presses his lips to her's, drawing her to him by the small of her back. Cradling and caressing her, afraid of ending the kiss. Too soon, has has to pull away. "I love you, _mi amor._"

"I love you too," she whispers, keeping her grip on him tight. She doesn't dare to let go. Too afraid that if she does, she might not be able to touch him again. That this time instead of cheating death, or whatever he pulled. She would be forced to leave without a goodbye. "I want to go home," she murmurs as she buries her face into his chest.

Jace kisses the top of her head, trying to memorize everything about her-the way she sounds, the was she looks, everything. It's only then, that he realizes he's preparing himself for the final goodbye, the will to let her go. The thoughts churn his stomach and he holds her tighter. "I wish we could go back home..if only.." He closes his eyes, tears glittering on his long lashes.

Clary tenses and looks up at him. "What do you mean?"

He didn't answer her, just averts her gaze and focuses on the area around them. He can feel the surroundings of the man's house melting and transforming until they're in the music room back at the Herondale Manor by some miracle. His lips part and his eyes grow wide. Clary, however, ignores the scene around them. "Jace. What do you mean?"

Jace places her hands on his chest, gripping her wrists tightly. He sighs softly, his words like a blanket, wrapping them in a harsh reality. "If only we could stay like this..If only I could have you back..forever, alive." Blinking a few times, tears were recollecting in his eyes. _Ithuriel, I ask you of this one last thing, _he pleads in another silent prayer that she can't hear, _I ask for the one thing in my life that I can't go without. We gave you freedom, and in the name of the Angel, and all we've done for the war against evil, I beg of you..let her live._

Her eyes slowly fell, when she realized the words he meant. She couldn't stay, she _would_ have to leave. She already felt something pulling inside of her again and the golden light flew back to life in her eyes. In the corner of her eye she could just make out the shape of a golden circle, enchanted with light, hanging on the wall. He couldn't see it though, she knew, but there it was. A portal to a different world. The light it casted was beautiful. Letting out a soft sigh, the light slowly dimmed once again. "I have to go.." She didn't look at him, it would be too painful for the both of them and she knew that. "I have to go..And we don't get our happily ever after.." Her words were quiet, as she realized this herself. Her eyes closed and she murmured in a soft, depressing voice, "I don't want to go."

Jace heard her somewhere in the distance of his subconscious. _Please Ithuriel,_ he says with a finality. _Please..._ He opens his eyes and holds her tighter, afraid to loosen his grip. "What will I do without you, Fray?" He calls her Fray for old times sake, though the sentence feels bittersweet on his tongue.

When she was pulled to his chest and her head went against it, her eyes fell shut. She sighed and gently murmured, "You'll be my brave soldier, Jace. Just like you always have."

His breath catches and he holds back a sob. "That's not true, Clary. It's not possible..Not without you.."

Loosening herself in his grip, she moved her legs around, so she was straddling him, and she cupped his cheeks, while holding back sobs of her own, although it showed in her eyes, clear as day. The gold appeared again, combing itself with her green. On other occasions it might have been pretty, but not now. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the portal once more, the portal that would cast her to her own heaven, she knew. The portal that casted such a beautiful glow that it ached in her chest knowing she couldn't share it with him. "You've made it through 16 years of your life without me, Jace Herondale. I've only been in your life for around 9. The part without me, outnumbers the part with me. You can make it, baby. I know you can, you just gotta be brave. You have to be strong." She swallowed, forcing down the sob that was threatening to escape her lips. "No matter where you're at, I'll always be there, looking down on you. Watching over you. Trying my best to protect you and Mary." She glances around the music room, before standing up, and walking over to the piano. Reaching inside, she grabbed out a small gold chain necklace with cursive writing on it. She went back to him and knelt down. "My mom got this for me, for my 12th birthday, instead of that tattoo I wanted. Remember that night when I told you? It feels to me like yesterday.. The memory is playing so brightly and vivid in my mind right now." Reaching down, she takes his hand, slowly peeling it open. She drops the necklace inside and she murmurs, "When she's old enough.. Tell her what happened to me, okay? And don't go around telling some heroic story, because we both know that's not what happened."

_But those 16 years of life were nothing but Hell.._ He thinks bitterly, trying to force himself to breathe. He clasps the necklace in his hands and nods. He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. Jace caresses her cheek and moves his hand down to the flower charm he had given to her so long ago and weighs it in his palm. He sighs and lets it go. "I promise," he murmurs and kisses his forehead. "Now go Clary, please.." He says, pained. "I love you, just remember that. I love you," he bites his lip and turns away from her.

When he turns away, the light fades, but she had to force it to come back now. She had to. He wanted her to leave now. He was finally willing to let her go, like that. Like a simple snap someone could just do within a second. She felt her heart shatter and she turned away, as if it wasn't already pierced. As she turned she murmured, "I love you, since the day we met, til the end of forever." It caused her pain to make the light appear again, but she held it in. Taking a final breath, she spoke in a steady voice, "Make sure Mary knows her mother loved her." Then she went inside the golden light. Light surrounded her from all sides, and wind pulled and tugged at her from every direction. Everything went black, but when she fluttered her eyes opened she knew where she was.

She was in the green house, standing in the shadows almost, watching herself on the bench and Jace beside her , a small box in his hand. It held a necklace with a carving of a rare Idris flower as the charm. It was one of the flowers, she remembered Jace telling her, that stood for love.

When she went out of the green house, and down the steps, the scenery changed once more. This time she was standing by the door of Jace's room, watching the both of them on the bed, relaxed. His arms around her, and her head against his chest. This was the night he proposed, she realized. Slowly she opened the door and was teleported to, once again, a different, happy memory.

This one, was at Christmas time, everybody was around the tree, deciding who should go first. After a while Jace just shrugged and spoke up, I'll go first. When he opened his arms up, a small Pomeranian husky jumped out of his lap and ran towards Clary, jumping up onto her and licking her face. She giggled and looked away, her eyes falling onto Jace's. A soft smile was on his lips as a question formed in her mind. Was he watching me when I was looking at this puppy? But soon enough she decided that question didn't matter. After she called him into the hallway to follow her, she held up a mistletoe and kissed him gently, sparking the start of their relationship. It was the happiest moment Clary could have ever had.

Now, after she stepped through the last door, she was standing in the soft, grassy hills of Idris, the blue skies having soft puffy clouds floating around. Birds were chirping in the distance somewhere, happily. I'm home. She realized. Seeing the manor, not too far away, she started walking towards it, only to be there in a mere second. Opening this door, she heard the familiar ring of her daughter's voice. Mommy! You're home! She didn't answer, only swooped her up into her arms and hugged her. Minutes lasted, and her curiosity pulled at her. Where's your father? She heard herself ask. I dunno, Mommy. He hasn't been home in a long time. Realizing what Mary had said she thought, He won't be able to come home until he dies. So, maybe this isn't heaven. My angel isn't in it, so would it mean this is Hell? She shakes her head, looking down at Mary. I have one of my two angels, and I suppose, that's good enough.

Jace looked over his shoulder, watching her disappear. He sinks down to his knees where she was only moments ago and tries to conjure up a picture of her alive and well, but he couldn't. Sobbing, the dull colors of the music room blur together from his tears. "Please Ithuriel..Bright her back..Bright her home." He sits himself up on the piano and plays one of the songs he wrote for her so long ago, the melody more bittersweet and haunting than ever. It leaves a hollowness in his chest with each note that hits his ears. Clary Fray, Clarrisa Herondale, Mi amor, he whispers in his mind with such determination and hope, it shatters him and he stops playing, though he doesn't notice. Come back to me...

Slowly, she started to feel the tugging sensation again, and her eyes widened. A low, raspy voice slowly fills her mind, Clarrisa Morgenstern..You may go home. Standing there puzzled, she watched as another portal opened up on the side of the room. Wondering what it would lead to, she walked towards it, her curiosity increasing by the second. When she finally stopped, she went out to put her finger again it, but was sucked inside before she could will herself to stop. It felt like hell, being sucked in, being pushed back in. She wasn't sure what was happening either. The only thing she knew next was that she was laying on a bed in the Institute, herself being stripped of her runes, of everything she wore except her clothes of course, which were still bloodstained. It took her a minute to realize but she smiled. "My old room...Home." Clary's eyes widened slightly, as she got up and murmured, "Jace."

Jace returned to the Institute after he's gathered some of his bearings, remembering something important. He brushes past Isabelle and Alec who both watch him, troubled and hesitant. Slipping into the infirmary, he braces himself to see her lifeless form again. But that's not what happened. Clary saw him first, and she tilted her head, a question escaping her lips." Jace, why are we at the Institute? Why aren't we home?"

His eyes widened when he finally sees her, and he steps back a bit at first. He looks like he's been through hell and back, his blonde hair tousled in a mess of curls, and his T-shirt clinging to him with sweat and tears. Overall, he looks broken, shattered-which is what he is. But the shock comes through it all, widening his eyes. Rushing towards her, he threw his arms around her, collecting her in his arms again. "Is this a dream?" he asks, solemnly after some time of silence.

Clary's arms automatically wrap around him. "No," she answers, puzzlement in her voice. "Why would it be?"

"Don't you remember anything?" he asks, his mouth setting in a deep frown that provides his face with deep-set lines, as he looks down at her in disbelief.

"Should I?"

Jace just sighs- partly in relief - trying to collect himself. "God-Ithuriel- whoever made this possible, I thank you," he whispers under his breath.

Clary, loosening her arms, looks up at him. "Jace what happened? What's wrong?" She looks at him, all of him, taking it all in. "What happened to you?"

"We should go home before I tell you," he tells her, intertwining their fingers. "I'm just glad you're safe."

Clary nods slightly. "Alright..Well lead the way, soldier." A smile tugs at her lips as her emerald green eyes look up at him.

Jace looks back at her with a mixture of sadness and relief. They go to say goodbye to Alec and Isabelle- who are equally as shocked as he was - and return home to the Manor within the hour. "Mary's already asleep," he muses, stepping through the front door.

"I would assume so, it's past her bedtime." Jace just nodded at Clary, and took her hand, sitting down on the couch. She sat down on his lap, picking up his other hand with her's and fiddling with his fingers.

He tilts his head slightly, watching her. "Should I save the story for later?"

She shakes her head instantly. "I want it now."

He bites his lip. "What's the last thing you remember?"

"Us walking down the street, in New York."


End file.
